AuDHD Overstimulation

How it feels in MY body and small things that help

Both autism and ADHD come with sensory processing differences.

Sounds clatter, jumpers constrict, and mess sets my brain on fire.

I want to describe how overstimulation feels to me.

It’s currently Little One’s school holiday. I’ve written here about how difficult it is to balance his needs with my own.

Due to a delay, we had no PA to take him out last week. I’m on day 10 without a break.

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Sensory saturation creeps up on me; too much input, for too long, with no respite.

How long is ‘too long’ depends on the cause. A crowded room or noisy roadworks get me there fast.

The sensory load of caring for a high-needs five-year-old builds by the day, a quiet stacking of stress that soon threatens to topple.

It starts in my head; it’s always chaotic in there, but it becomes simultaneously noisier and quieter - a pervasive white noise, filling my entire skull. Coherent thoughts slip slowly away, replaced by meaningless fluff. I struggle with word and memory loss.

Usually mid-sentence.

My husband commonly witnesses me staring vacantly into space.

Sometimes I can pick up where I left off. Other times, I have no clue where that was, so we move swiftly on.

Since identifying as AuDHD, I know when this is happening and why, but often it’s impossible to remove myself from the sensory onslaught.

The body crash follows the brain derailing.

My heart races. A suffocating weight presses on my chest. Anger bubbles just beneath the surface. A paralysing exhaustion that wipes out any motivation to move, plan or do anything.

Cue me reading the same Substack notes on repeat, deflecting flying toys, and answering His Highness’ endless calls of ‘Mam’.

My patience is shot, my tolerance for physical touch is incredibly low, and I can feel my pulse throbbing throughout my body.

Ideally, my nervous system would like to lie down in a dark room. For a few days. With room service.

But let’s be honest, ‘ideally’ and reality don’t often meet.

To stop myself completely unravelling, I have a few things that help reduce my frazzled state when I’m able to grab a little time to myself.

I practice yoga regularly, 30 - 50 minutes of peace on the mat, preferably yin yoga with my supportive bolster. I suck at meditating, but if I hone in on the physical sensations, I can focus on my breath. It creates a bit of space in my mind. It’s the habit I should do every day, yet it’s the hardest to reach for when I’m overstimulated. So counterintuitive.

My writing and creativity are outlets that help to regulate me. Exploring my own life in words has become a powerful tool. I’m even inspired to start other creative projects - this from the woman who’s always maintained she’s not creative!

I end each day by reading fiction in bed. I’m a Stephen King fan girl, but I read books by a variety of authors. This stops me obsessing about whatever thoughts I’ve had all day, long enough to relax. It’s not always successful, sometimes (usually!) they pop back up as soon as I put the book down, but at least my body is relaxed and ready for sleep.

When my husband walks through the door after work, I feel immediately lighter. Yes, it means I’ll get an hour or so to myself soon, but that’s not it. He’s a balm to my being. He brings calm into the chaos, not by fixing it, but by being beside me in it.

I’m learning that overstimulation isn’t a flaw. It’s a message from my nervous system, asking for care.

All images created using AI, based on my ideas and prompts.

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